Other blog discontinued

I've decided to just leave my other blog the way it is, and since I feel like I'm starting a new and important part of my life, I'm just going to use this blog from now on. Either that or I just like to be difficult.

There are about a million things I want to say right now. I can't (and shouldn't) say any of them to anyone. Well, I should say them to one person, but enough was said last night and although I am considerably less confused now about the past, I'm exponentially more confused about the future. Something drastic would need to be done. And now's definitely not the time for something that drastic. Maybe next year though.

That's actually been my plan all along--maybe next year. But even that is a little scary. It would probably be better to say, leave it for about eight years from now, but I don't want this to happen eight years from now.

Last night was equal parts something I've wanted to happen for over 4 years and something that probably never should have happened at all. And really, not much happened, because I realize in being vague, I open things up for interpretation. Do I really want to change everything about my life for somebody else? Well, I guess that's not really the right question. Obviously I don't want to change anything. But would I? I think that I might be willing. I guess it just boils down the last time I went all-in on something: It ended up in disaster. But not even total disaster, because I still got a life lesson out of it.

Maybe doing something stupid would get me out of the rut that I'm in. Ha... it's so funny that all I was worried about at first was whether or not I was going to get laid. That probably would have been the least complicated outcome.

I think I'm just going to keep this secret for now--this blog I mean. I still need to talk to somebody about... what do I always whine about?