I swear

I want to kill myself sometimes... I really do.



But fuck... it takes as much effort as not.

Title

Sometimes I just gotta post.

I'm happy right now. I know it's not going to last forever, but for right now it feels pretty damn great just to be alive and be here at home.

I don't think I have the energy to type. I'm helping Dan brew some beer (kind of) and I think it's really fun. I really think it will be a great hobby. I want to close my eyes but I don't want to not be helping Dan with the beer.

Beer.

The last thing

I wrote I wasn't going to post. I was actually happy that I didn't post it. But then I saw that it had saved the draft and I figured, WTF... why not.

Yes, I just used WTF, but I did it for comedic effect. Pretty funny guy, huh.

I think I've fallen in love with practically every girl I've ever met. It's kind of ridiculous, but in a lot of ways true. I know it's not EVERY single girl, but it's been a damn lot of them. I've found recently that I feel a few different types of love. I can just love a girl and not want to have sex with her. I like genuinely do not want to have a physical relationship. I think it's cool that I have more complex emotions than I really thought I did. Complexity is inevitable. Humans make everything much more complex than they need to be.

This seems dumb now and I want to stop writing. Even though I really feel like writing.

Happiness

is feeling comfortable. I feel comfortable right now because I'm a little bummed out on the world. I think I'm just getting very anxious to be home. Part of me wants to just head straight through to Coolidge when I start out tomorrow. But I still want to see people and I only have 3 more stops to go. I've just got to stick it out.

I don't know if anybody has discovered this blog yet, so I don't know what level of privacy I have. I never want to like a girl again in my life and I never want another girl to like me. Instead I find myself liking the unlikeliest of girls. And it was all a big mistake/accident. And not to mention completely stupid. I do have one girl that I need to get over. I don't consider her in the "like" category really. If there was an "annoying" category that's where I'd put her. Nothing she does is annoying; it's what she doesn't do that's annoying.

Whining about girls again.... now I feel comfortable.