Holy Shit!

It has been quite a long time since I've blogged on here. I really feel bad about this. I am dedicating today to me starting this blog back up. I know there are only a few people that stay up to date on here, but I want to be one of those people. Plus, I feel much more comfortable writing things here, where I don't have to keep things private and there are not nearly as many people around as there are on myspace. I like to be able to write what I want to write and not have to worry about it.

That being said, I still feel the need to censor what I write to some extent. Some people go overboard with what they tell people on the internet, or complete strangers or whatever. It just seems like... well like trying too hard. I want to try just right... like Baby Bear or whatever the hell he was called.

Either way, the past couple of months has been good... particularly the last couple of weeks.... particularly the last couple days. I am happy for the first time and I feel like I deserve it. Normally I feel like I have to stay down on myself. I can't have anything without sacrificing something else. But that's not the case right now. Now I can have whatever I like and I don't have to sacrificie anything. It's as if I have free reign over almost every aspect of my life. Sure I wish I wasn't back into the habit of procrastinating, but even still, I'm actually all caught up and in some instances ahead. I'm not technically behind in anything.

I do have to avoid that word, though: technically. I try to get off on a lot of technicalities. All the time, I do. It's the part of me that wants to be a lawyer I guess. I like finding loopholes and I like doing things contrary to what is expected, just because there is no established way... or if there is an established way, it is littered with ways around it that are not technically wrong.

Anyway, whatever. I am happy. I have gotten to hang out with Zane, Jason and Jared the last two days, which didn't seem to be happening quite as often as I like it to happen. Whatever the "situation" with Kara and I is, it seems to be going well. Very well, really. I'm not really overthinking things the way I normally do, either. I am still overanalyzing things; I am certain I always will. But I'm not doing it in a way that detracts from my life, happiness, or sanity, the way I used to.

Well, I really want to take a nap before tonight's show. I don't know how much sleep I got last night, but I am 100% certain that it was not enough. Even though I didn't get out of bed until 11:00, I know that I went to bed way less than six hours prior to that, and it was broken sleep.


Mmmmm... nap.